I’ll be honest. In general, I’m all around very self conscious. As much as I try to be confident about my appearance and attitude, criticism and judgements affects me more than I’d like to admit. I’m sure a lot of people can relate.
Recently, I’ve come to realize that the crowd I’ve been surrounding myself with has a much different taste than me. I feel like I’m losing connection with people who believe in hobbies, and those who don’t criticize others for having said hobbies. Or I guess, this is “growing up”? ♫ ♪
I’ve been struggling to find time to tend to myself and my hobbies which play such an important role in my life. It’s what helps me wind down from a long day at work, giving me some me-time while letting my brain relax. Instead, my after-work moments have been spent out and about a little more than usual. I can’t complain about my crowd of people since it is me making the decision to hang around them, but I can’t help but feel if I’m spending my time all wrong by being such a homebody. I guess I’m just questioning everything about myself.
I basically made a list of reasons why I craft and why I need my hobbies. It’s almost like it’s a reminder to myself to keep being me because it’s really unavoidable. Old habits die hard. Old hobbies die hard?
01. Since I grew up in an environment where my grandmother was a seamstress, my grandparents owned a shoe repair shop, and we were on the poorer side when I was young causing us to get creative with everyday necessities, I’d say accessibility made it easy for me to get drawn to the creative life. We had all the tools and materials to make what we needed. Makeshift and homemade was the life we lived.
02. Since we were on the poorer side, I watched my parents get crafty and thrifty with home decor and wardrobes. We were about the DIY life because it was a life we could afford, and the outcome was rewarding. It was exciting when someone complimented something we made with our own hands. The DIY life was inspiring, and I’ve since been hooked.
03. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but truth is I didn’t have many friends growing up. I needed something to pass my time and that DIY life was always there for me. I taught myself to sew my own clothes, I learned to use all the colors of the rainbow to color people, and I even figured out how to read tablature so I can play some guitar (poorly). I took on so many hobbies because I had so much time on my hands.
04. Since then, it’s been a great way for me to keep busy. Even though I’m just a wee bit more established than my public school and college years, my weekends and after work hours are times not wasted. I’m in the middle of probably 20 projects and that’s how I like it. I’ve grown to be creative and building something from start to finish makes me feel good at the end of the day. I don’t feel productive if I’m not being crafty and I always like having projects to move onto when I finish another.
05. I like to challenge myself. Inspiration is everywhere and I love taking advantage, in the right way of course. Because I grew up with a family that DIY-ed because we couldn’t afford new, I’ve gotten accustomed to trying DIY’s before buying. Shirts, furniture, shoes… I’ll try to immitate before buying. I like that because it gives you the chance to customize mid-way.
06. And as I stated, it’s a way to help me wind down and to keep my anxiety under control. My anxiety levels have been pretty high the past few months and my after work hours are really important to me, so I need to use my time wisely and work on projects that make me happy.
Everyone has their own interests. Some people don’t like being home, especially alone. Some people need social settings to recharge them. A lot of people also don’t own many things so their hobbies are not full scale like mine.
My history is important and really does explain why I am the way I am. I get self conscious when people pick that a part and make me question myself. I find it interesting learning what makes people tick and what interests everyone, and their past probably has a whole lot to do with it, right?
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