Welcome back to another installment of Tarot To-Go here at Oddball Era! Last week, in honor of my 29th birthday, I showed you the first four months of my Full Year Tarot Spread — that’s where I pull a card for every month of the upcoming year, plus an extra one for the overall theme. It was pretty scary opening myself up and being so vulnerable with the entire Internet like that but I gotta be honest — I kinda liked it. So, without any further ado, let’s jump right back in and take a peek at how the beginning of 2020 is going to go for me.
The end of 2019 will see me sorting through both the physical and intangible items I’ve collected over the years, discarding what no longer serves me, gathering up what does, finding a safe space for growth within my sisterly bonds, falling in love with myself, and experimenting with vulnerability. All of this is to prepare me so that come January, I’ll find FREEDOM within the confines of my DIVINE SENSUALITY.
I’m about to take you down a spiritual hippie rabbit hole: we’re all Divine. What does that mean? Well, to me, we’re talking about God. Now, before you head out the door at the mention of the G word, I’m not talking about some old guy with a long beard sitting on a throne up in the clouds judging our every move as humans. I’m also not talking about religion. I’m talking about God. I’m talking about all there ever is, was, or will be. Energy and matter. Star dust and gases. The Universe!
Going off the prevailing theory, everything in existence was, at one time, condensed into a singularity where all the matter that would one day become the Universe was an infinitely dense, miniscule ball. Eventually, it exploded in The Big Bang and out rushed the materials — incredibly hot and moving at unimaginable speeds. Those swirling gases and debris would then, over millennia, collapse and condense to form planets and star systems, and eventually bacteria. Then that bacteria would grow and evolve and change until after even more millennia, us tiny and insignificant humans could be born. Made up of the same stuff that used to be a single, extremely dense, ball of existence.
That’s right — there’s not a single atom in your body, right now as you read this, that wasn’t formed in space. You’re a whole bunch of star matter rearranged to form a person. And that’s also true for everything else that exists — from the silicon in your smartphone to the air we breathe. All that ever is, was, or will be came from the same single source. That’s what I call God — the insurmountable oneness that connects everything. Literally, everything.
For January of 2020, I’m being called to remember that fact. To remember that I’m Divine. That I’m a fragment of God just trying to experience itself. And that, to truly do that, I must actually experience. Relish in the sensuality of life. The smell. The taste. The touch and feel. The cards are urging me to find freedom in knowing that we are all one, that we all came from the same place, that we are all made of the same materials. I can never be lonely — the whole Universe is with me always. Both inside and out. What could be more freeing than that?
This is the month I’ll start to see some results from all my hard work. ATLANTIS was the famed hypothetical lost city and it was supposedly very advanced before being swept away into the depths of the sea. This card represents a “rapid development” towards success. All the lessons from the months before — if I stick to the work I need to do, at least — will start reaping rewards. Quickly! I can look forward to a sudden avalanche of freelance work or perhaps an idea I have at the beginning of February will come to fruition by months end. I’m talking about a windfall that seems to come overnight — I’m looking forward to it!
At the beginning of the month of March is my dad’s birthday which is the perfect time to HONOR THE MASCULINE in my life. This can mean literally — showing some extra love to my father as he turns 58 — or it could be more metaphorical. In the last few years, I’ve been leaning heavily into my femininity. I’ve discovered my voice as a feminist, started getting more involved in the Women’s Right’s Movement, and practiced using my soft, girlie tendencies as strengths instead of weaknesses. But too much of anything isn’t good. There needs to be balance.
I’m a believer that, just like it’s masculine counterpart, toxic femininity is a real thing. Creating a world of equality is hard work and mistakes will be made along the road to progress. These days, within many feminist circles, there are those who say inflammatory things like, “we should eliminate all men.” Whoa! That’s a little harsh. I’m no stranger to the perils of being a woman — I was raped on Valentine’s Day, 2009 — but the elimination of half the human species? That’s not exactly progress. And it’s thoughts like that which give misogynists fuel for their intense hatred of “feminazis” and women in general. They take it as proof that our feminist agenda is to strip power away from men.
I’d like to think that most of us know by now that that’s not the case. Feminism isn’t about women being better than men. We’re not trying to take anything away from anyone. It’s simply about being equal. It’s a long road to equality but we’re never going to get there by hating the other side. At some point, we’ll have to come to a middle.
I have a very good friend who is a proud conservative. We disagree on almost everything, politically speaking, and have a tendency towards intense and heated debates. When I spend a few days at his house, I wake up in the morning to the sounds of angry ring-wing pundits yelling on TV or podcasts. For a long time, I judged him. “Gah!” I’d scoff. “How can these conservatives be this angry all the time?! They’re never going to get anywhere by hating their opponents!” Then, I’d go home and scroll through my Twitter and IG feeds, practically bursting with vitriol — except from the progressive perspective. How does that make me any better than my conservative friend? I spend just as much time listening to angry pundits yelling on TV and podcasts. How can I condemn his behavior but turn around and do the same thing, just from a different vantage point?
That’s what I have to do in March of 2020 — find a way to balance myself. Learn to honor both the Masculine and Feminine in my life. Learn to honor both sides of the same coin. The future is female? Not for me. That’s not equal. We all have masculine and feminine qualities and learning to use them both is a valuable skill — one I’ll need to work on in the Spring!
It might be time for me to start collecting more tarot and oracle card decks because I’m starting to sound like a broken record here — this is not the first time the MIRROR has shown up for us. By now, y’all should probably know it’s a reminder to see yourself in others. A reminder that we all have far more in common than we realize. A reminder that the things you love or hate about a person are almost always the things you love or hate about yourself.
Next April, I’ll be challenged to always remember that I can see myself reflected back in every person and creature. That’s always been one of my best qualities — seeing everyone I meet for who they are under their masks. Recognizing that tiny spark of the Divine in them. I treat everyone I meet like an old friend, even if they’re random strangers. “There’s just something about you, I dunno what it is,” my cousin-sister told me recently. “People just want to talk to you. You make them feel so seen. It’s what you do. It’s who you are.” It’ll be an important skill to remember come April — I can’t wait to see why!
That’s it for part two of my birthday spread. So far, I’ve got a really positive feeling about the last year of my twenties. How shall the months leading up to my 30th birthday go? You’ll have to come back next week to find out. See you then!
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